BARRY CRYER'S DAILY JOKE
A duck walks into the pub.
''Got any grapes?" he asks the barman.
"We don't do grapes," the barman says. So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back and asks the barman, "Got any grapes?"
"Look, I told you," said the barman. "We don't do grapes. If you come in again tomorrow, I'll nail your feet to the floor."
The duck comes back the next day and asks, "Got any nails?"
"All right, then. Got any grapes?"