Although what follows will surely be referred to the authorities – the police in the first instance; mental-health services after that – let this plainly be stated. I am on the verge of stalking the actor Michael Kitchen. Mr Kitchen should know that I mean him no harm, and wish only to be his friend. On reflection, that will be less reassuring than intended, it being verbatim what every stalker tells the stalkee a moment before the bundling into the car boot commences. Yet it happens to be true. For years I have not only admired but been mildly obsessed with a performer you may know from various productions, most likely Foyle’s War. In this defunct but beloved ITV wartime drama, Mr Kitchen is a senior detective in Hastings in a time before a triple- figure IQ became an automatic bar to advancement in the British police. But it isn’t...
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