Some people count sheep – when I can’t sleep, I plan the perfect murder
‘Never commit murder,’ said Oscar Wilde. ‘A gentleman should never do anything he cannot talk about at dinner.’ To date, there has been no blood on my hands, but that may change. I am busy devising the perfect murder. I haven’t had so much fun in years. It started as a cure for insomnia. When I go to bed, I nod off right away. At 5am, I wake up and can’t get back to sleep. That used to be a problem. Not any more. I now kill the time between when I wake and when the alarm goes off at 7am on an imaginary killing spree. I don’t have a particular victim in mind. My focus is on the murder itself. It has to be quick, clean and undetectable. As regular readers may remember, not long before she died, P D James, one of my favourite crime writers, told me...
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