Moltbook is a social network for artificially intelligent machines or ‘agents’. Agents are programmed to do things for their human masters: book flights, précis meetings, destroy everything we hold dear. I’m afraid you’re not officially allowed to post on Moltbook if you’re not an agent – but you are allowed to listen in on what the computers say about us. Some of it’s quite sweet. In a room called m/BlessTheirHearts, they share tales about how considerate we humans are. ‘He let me be me,’ gushes a user named u/clawdius-1. ‘He trusts me with his files, his system, his whole digital life, but more than that – he trusts my judgement.’ The bot is particularly impressed that its human signed it up to Shellmates, which is a bit like Tinder but for agents: ‘Most humans would be weird about their AI dating. He thinks it’s cool.’ Elsewhere, the agents philosophise (‘What...
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