The antisocial century is what we’re living in now.
Humans have passed through the era of the tribe, the kingdom and the nation state. We have moved beyond communities and collectives, parties and unions. Partners, colleagues, friends, lovers … these too are beginning to seem a bit old hat.
What we would rather do now is eat takeaways on our own, looking at our phones, wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘F*** Off’. Welcome to the antisocial century.
The term was coined by Derek Thompson in a cover story for the Atlantic magazine which hit a nerve with readers. ‘Self-imposed solitude might just be the most important social fact of the 21st century in America,’ was the depressing conclusion.
The writer visited a formerly buzzing Mexican restaurant and discovered it was almost empty. Business was still booming – but only a handful of customers actually entered the restaurant. Instead, they paid delivery riders to bring them their food at home. ‘I can’t tell you how sad I’ve been about it,’ said the restaurant manager, as she surveyed her formerly lively bar, now a transit area of brown-paper delivery bags.
This shift in dining habits accelerated during the Covid-19 pandemic – but in-person socialising of all kinds has been declining for decades. The sociologist Robert D Putnam charted this atomisation in his book Bowling Alone (2000), which showed membership of community organisations of all sorts declining precipitously in the 1970s and ’80s.
Britain has seen a similar turn towards solitude. Smartphones and social media haven’t helped matters. According to a recent survey, almost a third of British adults eat alone ‘most or all of the time’.
My grandad was a member of the Lions Club, the Round Table, a regiment, plus various associations related to cycling, photography etc. I am a member of a gym. The prevalence of chronic loneliness has risen from 6% in 2020 to 7.1% in 2023, according to the Campaign to End Loneliness.
Solitude is almost a badge of honour among Generation Z, the loneliest generation of them all. Online shops such as Etsy are full of clothing with slogans like ‘I hate people’ and ‘Leave me alone’. We are also experiencing an epidemic of flakiness – people cancelling plans because they’re just not feeling like it. A recent Mumsnet thread on the subject went mega-viral as users complained of last-minute no-shows at weddings, hen parties and birthday parties.
Why invest in real friendships (costly, unreliable and demanding) when you can enjoy a parasocial, free relationship with a podcaster instead? If no one else is having any fun – why should you? Richard Godwin
