When she took a tumble, a paramedic turned up and started behaving like Benny Hill
Jem Clarke is in his very, very early fifties, is five foot zero inches tall and has never left the family home in Cleethorpes, which he shares with his parents... Mother fell. She ended up sitting, back against the wall, like a weary-looking soft toy on a slow edition of The Repair Shop. I called the emergency services. While I was on to them, I told them my underactive thyroid medication had recently delivered me a massive dose of adrenalin. You hear about adrenalin allowing people temporary uncanny feats of strength – a child lifting the end of a tractor to free a trapped lamb. As I waited for the ambulance, I wondered whether I should attempt some equally impressive act with my mother’s monster-truck-esque undercarriage. I didn’t bother them with this. Instead, as I reported back to Mother, ‘They said I should simply stay with you and just keep...
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