Notes from the Sofa
Today, we seem to be swamped by initials. New ones appear every week. The latest for me was LGBT, which I’m still trying to remember. LESBIAN, GAY, BI- and TRANS, I think it is? I didn’t get issued with any of those, thank goodness. I’m just a boring old HETERO, now retired, of course. In Waitrose, I keep muddling it up with BLT.
Oh, hold on a minute - friend’s just called in, saw what I was doing, and said: ‘Don’t forget WYSIWYG.’ Computer talk, apparently. That’s why it’s new to me. New to me?! I’ve done one now! NTM.
The main initials we oldies grew up with are now long gone: LNER, LMS, SR ... SR? Not to be confused with SR Toothpaste, still on sale today. Southern Railway Toothpaste?
Wartime was full of initials: ACK-ACK guns (AA Anti-Aircraft) and HE bombs. My Dad was in the AFS, which soon became the NFS. Our neighbour was in the ARP. After the war, Dad went back to being a milkman for the RACS in SW19. Just over the border was SW18 run by the LCC and that was CWS territory. Frightfully common.
A year or two ago, I heard a new woman R4 FM announcer say: ‘This afternoon there will be a repeat of the Eye, Tee, Em, A show.’ What on earth? I thought ... slowly it dawned on the aged brain – ITMA! ‘It’s That Man Again, And it’s useless to complain ...’ Maybe, but it would have given Mona Lot a lot to moan about.
Also, in the war we had WAAFs, ATS, WRNS, the TA and them over there had the SS.
The USA is full of initials, too: NY, LA, NYPD, LBJ, UFO and as kids we listened to the AFN.
All this has reminded me of my MOT. I’d better check with the DVLA, not the DWP which I did last time, in a muddle, as usual. Of course, I’m in both the AA and the RAC, just as a teenager, I was in the CTC and the NCU.
Back then, my friend’s dad had an MG. He later got an MGB. This had terrific MPH and yet was still OK for MPG. Later, he had to add GB plates, of course.
It’s fortunate that all this fuss today about PC comes long after the days of PC49. What would he have made of it, I wonder.
Then there are all the diseases, discreetly capitalised: MS, TB, VD, HIV, also PMT and PTS syndrome. GMT? No ... that’s something else ... I think. VHF ... what’s that?
And in those ancient days when people wrote letters; letters on PAPER! Can you believe? We had PS, PPS, RSVP, ASAP and PTO.
Every day now we hear about PMQs, where the PM answers questions in the House of Commons, part of the Houses of Parliament, not called HP, probably because of the Sauce.
Money brings forth a few initials too: IOU, DD, FTSE, HP (again, not Sauce), LSD, but isn’t that a disease, too? No, it’s a drug, I think. Haven’t tried it yet.
My mum would eagerly look at any new cutlery to see if it was EPNS. I was never sure whether that was good or bad. Thank goodness she missed all the HI-FI stuff: LPs, CDs, DVDs, often made by HMV. She only had to cope with TV, BBC, ITV and LWT. That was more than enough.
Then there is the fundamental one – BC, AD. But why does it change? BC, AC would be more logical, surely? But I suppose it’s getting too close to the electrical AC, DC? Another alternative might be Before the Birth of Christ - BBC, and After the Birth of Christ - ABC, but that might cause confusion, too.
Ah well, never mind ... I’m going AWOL now. TTFN.
Oh, by the way, after all this, please DNR.
To buy copies of Raymond Briggs’s ‘Notes from the Sofa’, £24, call 01795 592893.
