I drove to work feeling I had an unpleasant clump of mascara on the corner of my eyelid. Throughout the day, I plucked at it, irritated to find no obvious lump, but still feeling this curious heaviness. At the hairdresser that afternoon, I thought my face was a bit odd, and was embarrassed at dribbling some water from my glass down my face. The next morning, with my face ever stiffer and my eye curiously unwilling to blink, I walked into the English staff room and asked, ‘Do you think I’ve had a stroke?’ My head of department took one look at me and sent me to hospital. It was not in fact a stroke, but an attack of Bell’s palsy, which completely froze half my face. On one side, I looked as smooth as the new Nicole Kidman; on the other, as wrinkled as Judi Dench. I have never...
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