What have the naughty ones been up to today? When browsing through the detentions list on the school website, two crimes stand head and shoulders above the others: school uniforms and mobile phones. Our uniform is pretty standard: tie and blazer, non-slutty skirt (it’s not put quite like that on the school list) and dark socks for boys. I don’t really care about any of it. Since time immemorial, school children have tied their ties at whatever length is prohibited (‘Three stripes must be visible’), with the knot wherever they fancy as long as it isn’t anywhere near the top button of the shirt. Who cares? As they themselves say, ‘How does the length of my tie affect my learning, Miss?’ It is also manifestly unfair that a child receives the same punishment for not wearing a tie as another child receives for headbutting a peer. The only one I...
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