A broke friend in need
Question:
I’m a divorced woman and I’m very lucky to have enough money, I hope, to ‘see me out’. I have no children and I’m pretty frugal. So I have enough for my needs. I have a very old and dear friend who has been very kind to me, though we are not romantically involved at all. I’ve known him for about 30 years. Now I’m getting on, he does a lot of errands and helps me around the house when I need it. The problem is he is absolutely hopeless with money. He’s now left his job, and though hehasaflattostayin–itbelongstohim –hepicksuponlyoddbitsofworkandI know he’s really worried about his future. I’m tempted to lend him a lump sum until he gets back on his feet. What do you think? Name and address supplied
Answer:
Tricky one. But does he really have any feet to get back on? I really wouldn’t lend him any money. It’s unlikely you’d ever get it back and then you’d feel resentful. Why not offer to pay the occasional bill? And maybe chuck him the odd cheque here and there on the understanding that this is a gift, not a loan. He’d almost certainly squander a lump sum or be overly generous, insisting on taking you out to supper and so on (galling when you know he’s paying the bill with your money).
Give yourself an idea of how much you’re prepared to spend on him per year – £5,000? £10,000? £15,000? – and keep a score of what you’ve spent on him every 12 months. At the end of the year, make a reckoning and then start again, if you can afford it.
Please email me your problems at problempage@theoldie.co.uk; I will answer every email – and let me know if you’d like your dilemma to be confidential.
