BARRY CRYER'S DAILY JOKE
There's an old man walking along the street at two in the morning.
He's stumbling a bit and holding a glass. So the police stop him and ask him where he's going.
'To a lecture.'
'At two in the morning?' asks the policeman. 'What's the lecture on?'
'Smoking and drinking,' the old man says.
'Who's giving it?'