Man goes into a pub in Glasgow.
He went straight up to the bar and said, 'Any chance of a quickie, dear?'
She slapped him straight across the face.
He said, 'Sorry, dear. I just wondered if there was any chance of a quickie?'
She hit him so hard that he fell and broke his leg.
One of the regulars picked him up and said, 'Round here, we pronounce it quiche.'