The new PM ought to do away with the fragile and unconvincing 'Andy' and trade it for the stronger 'Andrew'
As we’re continually told during his first week at Number Ten, Andy Burnham faces “formidable challenges”. Though there’s one that’s being overlooked that could so easily be overcome.
In short, we cannot – we just cannot - have a Prime Minister called Andy.
“Call me Andy” would be better off if he went back to calling himself Andrew Burnham. See? Even on the page, it looks stronger, more serious and instantly gives him that subtle aura of gravitas that all Prime Ministers need.
As “Andy”, he doesn’t have that.
True, some of his predecessors’ were known by abbreviations but theirs were slightly different. Ted Heath was simultaneously known as Edward, Jim Callaghan simultaneously known as James, so no gravitas was surrendered when their names were shortened. Also “Ted” and “Jim” were strong, solid abbreviations, as was “Tony” for Anthony Blair.
“Andy”? Absolutely not. There’s a deeply embedded part of the British collective consciousness that will always follow it with “Pandy”. Andy is fine for one of your mates but for a senior politician, it seems jokey, flimsy and trying too hard to be chummy, as would Jamie Callaghan or Mikey Heseltine.
People who want to be taken seriously in their chosen fields never abbreviate Andrew into Andy. There's a reason we don’t have Andy Marr, Andy Neil or Andy Lloyd-Webber. We never had Andy Ridgeley; we don’t even have Andy Tate.
Andrew Burnham is a more important figure than any of them but his “Call me Andy” ethos will not end well.
In my final year at school, we were sent to a lax and liberal sixth form college and had to suffer a callow new cohort of teachers. "I'm Mr. Begley," said one, "But hey, call me Andy!"
At that moment, the whole world seemed to go wrong. When “Call Me Andy” suggested we call him Andy, that vital wall between pupils and teachers – the line that had always divided respect from ridicule - began to crumble and fall.
Our hapless history teacher had failed to understand that you can never combine the licence of friendship with the authority of command. Like our new Prime Minister, he was trying desperately to be one of "us" but we needed him to be one of "them".
Andrew Burnham can avoid the plight of Andrew Begley, who made this fateful error in the first week of term. It's Parliament's first week of term too, so now’s the time for the PM to revive his original first name and put it to good use.
We haven’t yet adjusted to him being our Prime Minister. We weren’t paying much attention when he moved into Downing Street during a long hot summer but now he has to start leading the country, he’ll come under intense scrutiny.
The name “Andy” might have been okay for the matey Mayor of Manchester but it risks making the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland look a bit lightweight. Especially in an era of grave economic and geopolitical crises.
We're already tiring of his "man of the people" schtick because we need him to shape up, get serious and lead us out of turmoil. Reverting back to Andrew will go a surprisingly long way to strengthening his image. Otherwise, when things start to go wrong for him – as they no doubt will – his informal, slightly silly moniker will only make things worse.
We may briefly ridicule Andrew for his name change but after that, we’ll admire him for it. At the moment, we're just cringing at the thought of someone calling himself “Andy” representing us on the world stage.
As for Mr. Begley - the original "Call me Andy” – he failed to lead us, failed to inspire us and failed to earn our respect, principally because of that calamitous nominative howler.
I fear our new Prime Minister - even if he never publicly says "Call me Andy" - may be making the same mistake.
Because we called our teacher quite a lot of other things, but we never did call him Andy.
