The electoral constituency of Dover and Deal comprises two English coastal towns, just eight miles apart. And it's rather sad to observe the contrast between the two.
Deal is repeatedly named as being among the ‘50 best places to live’. The Financial Times has dubbed it Hoxton-on-Sea, an allusion to its fashionable hipster status.
Meanwhile, poor old Dover has drifted well down the popularity charts. One of the most famous, most historic ports in the world, Dover was recently named Shitville by a report in the New Statesman.
Deal is packed with affluent people giving smart parties in gorgeous homes – far above my status, as I am just the eccentric local scribe. And Dover is among the most deprived places in England: it is number 94 on the list of 326.
It scores the highest number of people on sick benefits, with 18.7 per cent of the population of working age being ‘economically inactive’. This is often a sign of depression, low motivation, addiction problems and falling victim to vibe of general decay.
Walking around Dover is a dispiriting experience; people look poor, sad and down-at-heel. The shops – or those that are open – seem cheap and uninviting. Still, there is quite a decent, enclosed shopping square, St James’s Place, which has a Marks & Spencer.
Despite its dinginess, I have an affection for Dover and its romantic history, from the imposing Roman-Norman castle to its role in Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities.
There is some fine Regency and Victorian housing stock. Surprisingly, perhaps, it also has some good schools.
The impact of Brexit, and concerns over the migrant crisis, have contributed to the decline of Dover. But a local Turkish resident – who runs a business in the town – says the deterioration he has witnessed over the past ten years is down to ‘too many people on benefits’.
This immigrant would like to see more of what was once Britain’s ‘Protestant work ethic’.
Meanwhile, Deal has the problems of affluence: the town supports 26 cafés and half a dozen high-end restaurants and gastropubs. House prices are soaring because of pressure of demand. Rentals are expensive. The average rental cost is £1,440 a month. And a NIMBY-like group has arisen to try to halt more posh house-building along the coastal roads.
A tale of two towns, indeed.
Since President Trump seems so keen to add Atlantic territories to his realm, will he suggest that Ireland should form part of the new American empire – for reasons of ‘security’?
It’s claimed that 97 per cent of global communications and internet traffic pass through the underwater cables just off the extensive Irish Atlantic field. But neutral, non-NATO Ireland has almost no defences against prowling by hostile forces.
Churchill always worried about the vulnerability of Ireland’s Atlantic coast. He was within an ace of invading Eire, as it was then named, during the Second World War. It might not be surprising if Donald Trump began pondering along similar lines.
I discovered the joys of Audible last year, during a period when my eyes were a bit fuzzy. They had gathered ‘debris’ – which, thankfully, laser treatment fixed.
It’s fab to have great books read by wonderful actors while you’re doing boring tasks around the house. The audiobook service is also pretty quick off the mark with new releases. And it’s made me aware of the cornucopia of podcasts now available.
It came to me in a dream that I should launch a podcast about ageing, called (only half-ironically) ‘Decline and Fall’. After all, we love to talk about the various afflictions of the ageing process.
I’d have a section inspired by Maeve Binchy’s phrase ‘the organ recital’. And there could be a regular spot about memory and its many deceptions, named after my columnar colleague Virginia Ironside’s brilliant coinage CRAFT (Can’t Remember A *Flipping Thing).
On the upside, there are many cheering subjects – such as exploring Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel in his eighties, which fascinates me. And reporting on life in Japan, which has the world’s oldest population.
I probably won’t pursue this particular dream because there’s too much technology involved. And, anyway, there’s Radio Oldie already!
[*Euphemism!]
Inevitably, given our demographic, oldie conversations sometimes discuss things like the bedside text saying ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ in case of a mortal illness.
I feel the phrasing here is a bit, well, clinical and cold-blooded. I mean, we all want a graceful exit – ‘respect’, as the young dudes say.
I would prefer a notice phrased more elegantly. I propose ‘Let Nature Take Its Course’. That carries the same meaning, but it has a nice sense of being in tune with the natural rhythm of life’s ending. It even has a hippieish, Leonard Cohen-ish inflection – a good note on which to leave the stage.
